Posted August 19, 2025 | by KimS | in Uncategorized

DemDaily: A Little Political Humor! Our Monthly Roundup

August 18, 2025

To remind us to laugh.

On Trump's Takeover of DC
President Trump last week took control of the Washington, DC Metropolitan police and deployed the national guard to combat a made-up crime wave in the city --- even though crime is at a 30-year low in the nation's capital.

Seth Meyers mocked Trump's use of statistics during the press conference, questioning, "who are you going to believe, the stats on CNN or the guy who says he can lower drug prices by 1500%?".

"In a post on Truth Social, Trump said, ‘There will be no more MR. NICE GUY.’ Wait a minute -- there was a nice guy? said Meyers [imitating Trump], 'Bad news, that kind-hearted, jovial man you knew is gone. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to revoke Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship.’"

"In another post, Trump said he was going to crack down on homelessness in DC and the 'tents, squalor, filth and crime.' Not tents! Is he also going to send the National Guard in to take care of the Boy Scout jamboree?" - Seth Meyers

“But I mean, the man’s got a point. DC can be a very, very dangerous place. I remember on January 6, 2021, when someone told an angry mob to get their steps in by storming the Capitol, and that someone was the president.” - Nicole Byer

On the Trump-Putin Alaska Summit
“The White House press secretary described President Trump’s upcoming Alaska meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin as a ‘listening exercise.’ And we all know listening and exercise are Trump’s two favorite things, so this should go well.” - Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, the meeting will just be Trump, Putin, and two translators who will never be heard from again.” - Jimmy Fallon

“Donald, quick tip: if he says, ‘It’s a bit stuffy in here,’ don’t open a window.” – Seth Meyers

“Yeah, Trump thinks he can change Putin’s mind about the war. That’s why he’s already calling it ‘The Summer I Turned Putin.’” – Jimmy Fallon

“Meanwhile, Trump said that in his meeting with Putin, he will probably know in the first two minutes whether a deal is possible. It’s reassuring when a president talks about ending a war like a Tinder date.” - Jimmy Fallon

“But today Trump said whether we make a deal or not, the important thing is to distract from Jeffrey Epstein.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Trump warned that Russia will face severe consequences if Putin doesn’t agree to end the war. Yup, severe consequences. Putin responded, ‘Like what, a second meeting?’” - Jimmy Fallon

“Trump also said he believes that he has a chance at organizing a trilateral meeting with Putin and Zelensky. The last time Trump had a trilateral meeting was on Epstein Island." - Jimmy Fallon

“Putin praised President Trump’s efforts to end the war in Ukraine as ‘energetic’ and ‘sincere.’ Yes, those are two adjectives that come to mind when I think about Trump. You might as well have called him ‘Asian’ and ‘a strong swimmer.’” – Seth Meyers

No Wokesters
Trump, who named himself Chairman of the Kennedy Center for the performing arts, has announced its annual honorees, along with the news that he will host this year’s ceremony.

“I mean, let him host the Emmys, the Grammys, a podcast with Theo Von. He could be the host at an Applebee’s. Anything that distracts him from running this country into the ground.” - Nicole Byer

“Give him something stupid to do to keep him out of trouble. Hosting award shows is what he envisioned being president is in the first place. [imitating Trump] 'The award for Sexiest NATO Ally -- goes to the women of Latvia!’” - Seth Meyers

Trump said he "'turned down plenty of candidates because 'they were too woke -- wokesters.’ I’m sorry, did he say ‘wokesters'? A ‘wokester’ sounds like a car your great-grandfather drove after the war.” - Seth Meyers

“Honorees include Sylvester Stallone and the band Kiss. Sylvester Stallone makes sense. I mean, when you think about Trump’s first seven months in office, the word ‘Rocky’ definitely comes to mind. And Trump said he picked Kiss, because ‘they’re one of the greatest rock 'n' roll bands of all time.’ And also ’cause they wear as much makeup as he does.” - Jimmy Fallon

“Giving Kiss a Kennedy Center honor is like giving Garth Brooks a BET Award.” - Nicole Byer

“Other honorees include country legend George Strait and disco legend Gloria Gaynor. Trump was like, ‘Something for the straights, something for the gaynors.’” - Jimmy Fallon

On Trump's Roof Walk
Trump took a walk on the White House roof recently, while reporters lobbed up questions from the lawn, like, "Why are you on the roof?”

"It was a case in point for the constant tension of the Trump era: Republicans doing something nefarious that will undermine democracy while the president does something weird and dumb that distracts us.” - Seth Meyers

“Well, I’m supposed to be getting beamed back to my spaceship, but I guess I got the day wrong.’” - Seth Meyers, imitating Trump.

“I think I know why he went up there. He can’t answer questions if he can’t hear them. I mean, if his poll numbers get any worse, he’s going to start doing press conferences on top of the Washington Monument.” - Seth Meyers

“Meanwhile, if I saw Trump on my roof, I would assume he’s pulling a reverse Santa Claus -- you know, going house to house taking toys away from kids." - Seth Meyers

“Everyone was like, ‘Don’t do it, sir! Your approval rating isn’t that bad!’ Trump said, ‘I’ll come down when you stop asking me about the Epstein files.’” - Jimmy Fallon

"Why do we have to pretend it’s normal when an old man wanders around a roof and shouts at us? If your grandpa was taking a little walk on the roof, you’d put him in a home, right?” - Jimmy Fallon

On reinstating the Presidential Fitness Test
“President Trump signed an executive order to revive the Presidential Fitness Test for public schools, and then immediately had to lie down for a bit.” - Seth Meyers

”Apparently, it changed in 2012 during the Obama administration to focus more on individual health than athletic feats. Boo! Make the children perform athletic feats for our amusement! I think every child should have a chance to struggle through timed situps while the meanest boy in school sits on their feet and farts.” - Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, the Presidential Fitness Test is back. Trump was like, ‘It’s time to bring back my favorite sport: public humiliation.’” - Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, which means now children will have to be as fit as President Trump.” - Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, Trump says he wants to ensure America’s future generations are strong, healthy and successful. At least, I think that’s what he said. He was gnawing on a K.F.C. 12-piece at the time.” - Jimmy Fallon

“Trump’s very into fitness. In fact, right now he’s trying to run from the Epstein story as fast as he can.” - Jimmy Fallon

On Trump and Epstein
"In Scotland, Trump told reporters he’d never 'had the privilege' of visiting Jeffrey Epstein’s island. Trump’s staff was like, ‘A simple no would’ve been fine.’” - Jimmy Fallon

“‘Privilege’ makes it seem like you never turned down an invitation, like you were checking your messages every day in hopes one was forthcoming. [imitating Trump] ‘Any calls from Jeffrey?’ ” - Seth Meyers

“Trump said he was invited to the island but didn’t want to go. I get it -- it’s so annoying when you get invited to a destination crime scene, isn’t it?” - Jimmy Fallon

“[imitating Epstein] ‘Hey, Donald, want go to the island this weekend?’ ‘[imitating Trump] 'Well, first of all, Jeffrey, thank you for thinking of me. Unfortunately, that’s the weekend that the teen pageant that I bought is installing the indoor security locker room cameras.’” - Jon Stewart

Trump said he’d been upset that Epstein poached workers from his spa at Mar-a-Lago. “That’s not helping you, dude,” said Seth Meyers. “Going out of your way to explain that you cut ties with a monster, not because he was a monster, but because he hired people away from you, makes you sound even worse. That’s like saying you stopped inviting Charles Manson to parties because he wouldn’t use a coaster.” - Seth Meyers

“People haven’t moved on because Trump and his MAGA base spent years cynically hyping up the Epstein conspiracy. They thought only their political enemies would be harmed. But they either forgot or conveniently ignored the fact that Donald Trump was Epstein’s best friend. It’s like basing an entire political movement around your opposition to Bert, and then voting for Ernie for president.” - Seth Meyers

“Trump told reporters that he never went to Jeffrey Epstein’s island and added, ‘In one of my very good moments, I turned it down.’ One of your very good moments? ‘[imitating Trump] 'You know what, Jeffrey, no. I’m not going.’ Refusing sex with underage girls shouldn’t be one of your finest moments -- it should be all of your moments.” - Seth Meyers

“According to The Wall Street Journal, Attorney General Pam Bondi told Trump earlier this year that his name was in the Epstein files multiple times. Oh, he definitely already knew that. What other bombshells did you have for him, Pam? ‘Mr. President, did you know you’re in 'Home Alone 2'?’” - Seth Meyers

“CNN released new, never-before-published photos of Trump and Epstein. Shocker! Frog and Toad are friends.” - Stephen Colbert

“According to court records, Trump flew on Epstein’s plane at least seven times. Now, that doesn’t mean he did anything illegal, but it’s not a great look when you fly on the pedophile’s plane enough times to earn ‘Diamond Pervert’ status. Don’t go in the lounge.” - Stephen Colbert

“Yep, all people want to talk about is Epstein, and Trump doesn’t. It’s annoying. It’s like getting to sit down with Buzz Aldrin and him saying, 'You can ask me anything except the moon.’” - Jimmy Fallon

“They must be finding so many mentions of Trump they’re going to have to change the name to ‘The Trump Files, Featuring Jeffrey Epstein.’” - Seth Meyers

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