DemDaily: A Little Political Humor. Our Monthly Roundup!
June 5, 2026
To remind us to laugh.
On Presidential Pool Boy
President Trump bragged about the size of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, which he just had renovated to change its color, by comparing it to famous skyscrapers.
“One thing we know for sure is that Trump is definitely obsessed with size, whether it’s sex or construction,” said Seth Meyers. “He showed off a chart that compared the size of the pool to various skyscrapers, which is not something he built or has any control over.
“You’ve got to hand it to him. I mean, that is really impressive -- or it would be if the reflecting pool was [expletive] vertical! You’re not allowed to compare horizontal to vertical. If that was the case, I-90 crushes the reflecting pool.” - Seth Meyers
“He’s building an arch, he’s covering statues in gold, he’s adding a s’mores station to Kennedy’s eternal flame. But his biggest project has been renovating the reflecting pool by the Lincoln Memorial. Because, as you know, one of the powers granted to the president in the Constitution is pool boy.” - Michael Kosta
On the Knicks
“Well, guys, New York City is buzzing right now because last night, the New York Knicks won Game 1 of the NBA finals. Woo! Yeah, everywhere you look, there’s blue and orange. It’s like seeing President Trump swimming in the new reflecting pool.” - Jimmy Fallon
“Everyone in the city is so excited. Last night I saw a Wall Street stockbroker vaping outside a sports bar with Zohran Mamdani.” - Michael Kosta
“Man, I haven’t been this proud of the city since that one time, at the start of Covid, when they decided to clean the subway for the first time ever.” - Michael Kosta
”That game was so great, I think we can all agree that we should just end the series at 1-0. Stop the count! Stop the count!” - Michael Kosta
"Yeah, the Knicks are three wins away from a ticker-tape parade. Yeah. President Trump was, like, ‘If you need any papers for shredding, give me a call.’” - Jimmy Fallon
On Mayor "Reality Villain"
Following the June 2nd primary, Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass (D) and former reality TV star Spencer Pratt will face off in November’s mayoral race.
Michael Kosta wasn’t impressed that Pratt “got a second-season pickup. A reality TV star running for office? Well, I’m sure if we make fun of him enough, he’ll only be in charge for 11 years, tops.”
“How did this country get so stupid? Oh, that’s right, we stopped reading books.” - Michael Kosta
“Spencer Pratt is standing up for the rights of all hard-working voters who look like ecstasy dealers. And it’s about time someone spoke for older guys who hang around college parties where no one is sure who exactly brought them.” - Michael Kosta
“It appears that Mayor Karen Bass will advance to a runoff against the former reality show villain. That means that in November, Los Angelenos will have to pick between a woman named Karen and a man who is one.” - Jimmy Kimmel
On CBS Cleaning House
“So after firing a number of producers, CBS management also canned ‘60 Minutes’ anchor Scott Pelley. And it didn’t end there. They even terminated the ‘60 Minutes’ stopwatch.” - Greg Gutfeld
“CBS just fired longtime ‘60 Minutes’ correspondent Scott Pelley after he criticized his new bosses at the network. Yeah. The story gets more bizarre because today CBS announced they’re replacing Scott Pelley with Byron Allen.” - Jimmy Fallon
“CBS is getting more and more conservative to appease Trump. But don’t be totally shocked when they replace ‘60 Minutes’ with the ‘Kid Rock/My Pillow Guy News Hour.’” - Jimmy Fallon
“Yeah, in the last few months, ‘60 Minutes’ has lost multiple producers and correspondents. You can tell that they got rid of a lot of people because the show is now called ‘60 Seconds.’ It’s a TikTok.” - Jimmy Fallon
“In response to Pelley’s firing, Trump called him a stiff. Yeah, he’s not like all those other freewheeling rock star ‘60 Minutes’ correspondents we’re used to.” - Jimmy Fallon
“‘60 Minutes’ will be replaced by new episodes of ‘Reporters Unleashed.’” - Jimmy Kimmel
On a Snore of a War
President Trump referred to ongoing peace talks with Iran as “boring” in an interview on CNBC, saying he “couldn’t care less. If they’re over, they’re over.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, is wrapping up the war you started not interesting enough? Whoa, you OK, dude? Why do you sound like the Iran deal broke up with you for your best friend? ‘Peace talks weren’t even that pretty." - Michael Kosta
“Yeah, Trump is losing and bored, also known as Monopoly mode: ‘[imitating Trump] Just take my properties.’” - Jimmy Fallon
“Oh, and apparently during a recent call with Benjamin Netanyahu, Trump told the Israeli prime minister, ‘You’re effing crazy.’ That’s like Pete Hegseth telling Kash Patel, ‘No, you’re drunk.’" - Jimmy Fallon
“This guy was so clueless about Netanyahu, it makes you think maybe he didn’t know what Jeffrey Epstein was doing.” - Michael Kosta
On America’s 250th Birthday Bash
Most of the artists have pulled out of a concert for the nation’s 250th birthday after learning the “Great American State Fair” is being planned by Freedom 250, a Trump administration initiative.
“The only well-known artists who did not back out were Flo Rida and Vanilla Ice, who now need to find another way to make 80 bucks that night.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“Man, you know Trump’s unpopular when even the Village People are like, ‘We can’t be part of this.’” - Jimmy Fallon
“It went so quickly, it was as if they had been booked on a hantavirus cruise.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“Imagine how badly things have to be going that the real Milli Vanilli publicly rejected you and it’s not even in the top ten most embarrassing things to happen to you this week.” - Seth Meyers
The only people confirmed to be there are Trump and Vanilla Ice. I’m pretty sure that’s how a creamsicle is made.” - Jimmy Fallon
To celebrate the nation’s 250th, the Treasury Department proposed printing a $250 bill featuring the likeness of Trump on it. “And, really, what better way to pay for a single tank of gas than with a bill featuring the head of the man who made it cost that much?” - Jimmy Kimmel
“There he is, the least-popular bill since Cosby.” - Jimmy Kimmel
On Trump's approval ratings
A new Economist/YouGov poll showed Trump at his lowest approval rating ever, of 34%, which Jimmy Kimmel called “bad news for Donald Trump.”
"He is now down to 34%. He has the same approval rating as ‘Paul Blart: Mall Cop.’ The Blart of the Deal.”
“Trump’s approval numbers, like his testicles, have sunk to an all-time low. They are lower than they’ve ever been.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“Not only is Trump at his lowest point, he’s also two points behind JD Vance. I don’t have a joke for that. I just want to make sure he knows, he’s two points behind JD Vance.”
“So, when asked about the numbers, the White House said, ‘The ultimate poll was Nov. 5, 2024, when nearly 80 million Americans overwhelmingly elected President Trump.’ OK, yeah. But now it’s May of 2026, and everybody hates him, so.” - Jimmy Kimmel
On Stephen Colbert’s Last Show
The series finale of “The Late Show” aired May 21. CBS announced the cancellation last year, citing financial reasons.
"If you’re just tuning in to ‘The Late Show,’ you missed a lot,” said host Stephen Colbert
“Now, on night one of ‘The Colbert Report’ back in the day, I said, ‘Anyone can read the news to you, I promise to feel the news at you.’ And I realized pretty soon in this job that our job over here was different. We were here to feel the news with you, and I don’t know about you, but I sure have felt it.”
“Can’t take this for granted. Though, actually technically our first show in July of 2015 was from a public-access station in Monroe, Michigan, for an audience of 12 people, and show business being what it is these days, that’s probably where you’ll see me next.” - Stephen Colbert
The night featured a superstar mash-up of late night hosts past and present, including his “Strike Force Five” co-hosts “Jimmy, Seth, John, Handsome Jimmy!” Colbert called them, who came by to see him off.
“Without you, where will Americans turn to see a middle-aged white man make jokes about the news?” - Seth Meyers
The stage backdrop was a warm hole portal that appeared to open up to swallow Colbert and his show. “But why aren’t you guys being pulled in, too?” asked Colbert.
“Actually, one of these holes opened at my show last year, but it went away after about three days.” - Jimmy Kimmel, referring to ABC’s pulling his show off the air briefly after Kimmel made comments about Charlie Kirk.
“At some point, this may come for all of our shows. But, Stephen, what’s important to remember is tonight it is going to eat you.” - John Oliver
Toward the end, Jon Stewart and Andy Cohen showed up to help Colbert through the portal, which sucked him up then spat him out into a jam session on Elvis Costello’s “Jump Up,” alongside Jon Batiste, Cato the bandleader, and Costello himself.
Then all joined Paul McCartney back onstage for one big performance of The Beatles’ “Hello, Goodbye” as staffers and friends took the stage.
Before Colbert gave McCartney the sign to turn off the lights of the Ed Sullivan Theater, he closed on a note of hope, paraphrasing Prince: “If the elevator tries to bring you down, go crazy and punch a higher floor.”
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