Posted November 14, 2025 | by KimS | in 2025 Elections, DemDaily, Democratic Party, Donald Trump, Humor Round Up, Republican Scandal

DemDaily: A Little Political Humor! Our Monthly Roundup

November 14, 2025

To remind us to laugh.

On Epstein Emails
“Trump’s people spent a year saying there are no Epstein files. Now there’s 20,000 pages and those still aren’t the files,” said The Daily Show’s Josh Johnson. “What happened? There are now more pages of Trump/Epstein lore than Batman and Superman crossover.”

“So the GOP didn’t do Trump any favors by releasing these emails. They basically saw his grease fire and said, ‘Let us add some water.’” - Josh Johnson

“Yep, today Trump tried throwing the files into a dumpster behind the White House, but the whole East Wing was already in there.” - Jimmy Fallon

Epstein’s private emails say Trump “’knew about the girls.’ It’s what Chuck Schumer is calling ‘Strike one, Mr. President!’”- Seth Meyers

“[imitating train conductor] Ladies and gentlemen, the Trump train is experiencing a slight delay. There is an Epstein file on the tracks. We should be moving as soon as we get that cleared.” - Josh Johnson

“Congress released new emails that show President Trump’s ties to Jeffrey Epstein. Trump heard and was, like, ‘Bring back the shutdown. Bring it back.’”- Jimmy Fallon

“So much has changed. 43 days ago, we were talking about the Epstein files, and today we’re all talking about the Epstein emails, so.” - Jimmy Fallon

On the Government Shutdown
Eight members of the Democratic Caucus voted on Monday with Republicans to end the nation’s longest-ever government shutdown.

“Our long national nightmare is different,” said Stephen Colbert. "Yes, the shutdown may have been long and painful for millions of Americans, but at least it achieved jack squat."

“But these Democratic defectors did get one concession. Senate majority leader John Thune promised them a vote on the ACA (healthcare) in December - cause that’s when people get down to serious work: December.” - Stephen Colbert

“Americans overwhelmingly support the Democrats’ push to keep health care costs down. Record numbers of people showed up for historic protests. The president’s poll numbers are historically bad. He just got booed at a football game, and voters handed Democrats huge victories in Tuesday’s elections. So naturally, Senate Democrats looked at all that and said, ‘Now is the time to cave.’” – Seth Meyers

“Democrats, you sold out the entire shutdown not to get what you wanted, but for a promise to not get what you wanted later. Where in ‘The Art of War …?’” – Jon Stewart

“After 40 days, Senators finally agreed on a deal to end the longest government shutdown in history. Yeah. And besides every airport turning into a real-life ‘Squid Game,’ no harm done.” – Jimmy Fallon

“After 43 days, President Trump signed a bill to end the longest government shutdown in history. Yes. Over. It was a special moment. Air traffic controllers at Newark popped open a few bottles of champagne and then they found out the shutdown had ended.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Pilots are thrilled. They can finally stop landing planes using Google Maps.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Meanwhile, the deal only lasts for two months, so there may be another shutdown in January. Open, close, open, close. We’re basically the Toys “R” Us of governments.” – Jimmy Fallon

PRE-SHUTDOWN
On cancellation of flights at 40 major US airports going into the holiday.

“So if you’re traveling for Thanksgiving, you might want to leave now.” - Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, unfortunately, it may be time to try your new favorite airline: the bus.” - Stephen Colbert

“As of now, the best way to travel for Thanksgiving will be grabbing a Macy’s balloon and hoping for wind. ‘Take me home, Spongebob!’" – Jimmy Fallon

"Frontier Airlines wants me to get a backup ticket? Respectfully, you’re the backup ticket." – Jordan Klepper

“At this rate, by the time the government opens back up, Mike Johnson will have gone through puberty.” – Jordan Klepper

“We’re a week into the government shutdown, and airports across the country are already starting to report a shortage of air traffic controllers. Now pilots are faced with the choice of waiting in a long line or using the self-checkout tarmac.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Only four shutdowns have gone longer than this one, the longest being a two-month stoppage in 2018, when Trump shut the government down until they brought back the McRib. I think he won that one.“ -Jimmy Kimmel

“The government shut down for the first time since 2018. Yeah, as a result, all nonessential government workers will be sent home without pay. Today, President Trump looked at JD Vance and said, ‘[imitating Trump] JD, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.’” – Jimmy Fallon

“Look, this is the classic dispute between the parties. Democrats say that the government should help pay for health care, and Republicans say, ‘That’s what GoFundMe is for.’” – Ronny Chieng

“The government shutdown is getting scary. They’re already considering getting a backup generator for Mitch McConnell.” – Greg Gutfeld

“This shutdown, which is causing headaches for millions of Americans, and we can’t even take Tylenol for it anymore.” - Jimmy Kimmel

"Democrats were concerned that Trump might take the opportunity to fire a whole bunch of federal workers, as he promised to do, but according to one White House official, they haven’t acted on it because ‘we do not want to appear gleeful about people losing their jobs.’ Unless, of course, those people work at a late-night talk show -- in which case, it’s entirely different.” - Jimmy Kimmel

On Trump's Football Fans
“Meanwhile, Trump attended the Washington Commanders' home game against the Detroit Lions. And before the game, Air Force One did a flyover above the stadium. Yeah, it was historic ’cause that was the only plane that took off that day.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Do you think he can hear the boos or does the narcissism force field block it all out?” – Jimmy Kimmel

“It’s like a whole stadium full of Melanias.” – Jimmy Kimmel

”I mean, he’s getting flipped off by both Lions fans and Commander fans. He finally did it -- he brought the country together.” – Seth Meyers

On Democrats' Sweep of the Elections
“Yep, for Democrats, it was a night of celebration. They dropped so many balloons, everyone’s hair looked like Bernie Sanders’ – Jimmy Fallon

“Democrats are walking around with a spring in their step like a divorced mom in her 40s whose new haircut just got her carded at two different bars.” - Stephen Colbert

“It was the best day for Democrats since they put ‘Hamilton’ on Disney+.” – Seth Meyers

“Trump lost every key New Jersey demographic: guys in track suits, moms at the outlet malls, and the entire cast of the ‘Jersey Shore.’” – Seth Meyers

“And none of it -- none of it -- could’ve been achieved without the work of Democratic strategist, Donald Trump. Tip of the cap to you, sir.” – Seth Meyers

“They won big races on the East Coast, they won the little ones in the South. In New York City, Zohran Mamdani was elected mayor with more than 50% of the vote, which means your racist aunt and uncle have a new name to mispronounce this Thanksgiving.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“Yep, Mamdani is just 34 years old. Yeah. We’ve had subway delays last longer than that. Thirty-four years. We’ve had government shutdowns longer than that.” – Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right, 34-year-old Zohran Mamdani is set to become the youngest mayor of New York City in more than a century, and somehow still more mature than the last guy.” – Seth Meyers

On No Kings
“Nearly seven million Americans participated in ‘No Kings’ protests across the country against the Trump administration. That number goes up to 10 million if you include everybody who went, ‘Oh, that’s today? Dang it.’” – Seth Meyers

“You know it’s bad when seven million people make plans on a Saturday, then actually follow through.” – Jimmy Fallon

“On Saturday, there is going to be another big protest march in every state in America and in cities throughout the world. We call it the No Kings rally. The demonstrations will be peaceful, unless you’re watching Fox News, in which case they will be violent, vicious antifa riots led by savages who ‘hate America.’” Jimmy Kimmel

"There hasn’t been a crowd that big in Boston since Dunkin’ held a promotion called Win a Free Munchkin Every Time You Scream ‘Jeter sucks.’” – Seth Meyers

“You know New Yorkers are pissed when they voluntarily come to Times Square on a weekend.” - Stephen Colbert

“Let’s go to the source: the original ‘No Kings’ protest, the revolution,” said Jon Stewart, who declared a “surprise inspection” of the Declaration of Independence to see how Trump fared with the 27 specific grievances listed against the King.

“The declaration says -- ah! -- ‘He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislatures.’ Done. ‘Cutting off our trade with all parts of the world.’ That does sound familiar. ‘He has obstructed the administration of justice.' It’s getting hot in here. And here is one more: ‘He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us.’” - Jon Stewart

“So, just to be clear, peacefully protesting a wannabe dictator means you hate America. Attacking the Capitol to overturn an election? Patriotic walking tour.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“There is nothing more American than a political protest. The American Revolution was a No Kings rally.” - Jimmy Kimmel