Posted July 17, 2025 | by KimS | in 2025 Elections, DemDaily, Democratic Party, Donald Trump, Humor Round Up, Republican Scandal

DemDaily: A Little Political Humor. Our Monthly Roundup!

July 17, 2025

To remind us to laugh.

On The Epstein Files
Trump fans have felt betrayed since he dismissed the conspiracy theories about the death of convicted sex-trafficker and former close buddy Jeffrey Epstein -- to his Truth Social followers, in a lengthy text, to get over it, that it was a "hoax" and to move on.

“That’s right, President Trump reprimanded his supporters on Truth Social for focusing on the Epstein files -- and maybe some other stuff. I only made it through Chapter 1,” said Seth Meyers, who called the MAGA infighting “a monster of their own making.”

“This is the most Trump’s written since Hooters got on Yelp. Look, I don’t know if Jeffrey Epstein killed himself, but I’m sure, after this, some of Trump’s advisers did.” - Seth Meyers

The original backlash came after Attorney General Pam Bondi announced the case closed July 7, stating there was no evidence of the alleged "Epstein client list" -- after previously saying it was "on her desk for review."

“Wait a second. If it was sitting on Pam Bondi’s desk in February and now it doesn’t exist, that can only mean one thing: Someone stole Pam Bondi’s desk.” - Stephen Colbert

“You can’t take this away from your base - that is MAGA’s favorite conspiracy. What are we going to find out next? That immigrants aren’t eating cats? That if you sail to the horizon, you don’t fall off the world?” – Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, they’re burning the MAGA hats. People in China were like, ‘Oh, come on, we worked so hard making them.’” - Jimmy Fallon

“As of now, Trump is keeping the information totally classified, aka in the bathroom at Mar-a-Lago.” - Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, the excuses are getting worse and worse. Today, Trump was, like, ‘A dog ate the Epstein files, then people in Ohio ate the dog.’” - Jimmy Fallon

“In fact, Epstein’s infamous little black book included 14 different numbers for Trump and his representatives. I mean, he had 14 separate ways to contact Donald Trump. I mean, when I drop my kid off at camp, I give two emergency contact numbers and one of them is fake because I don’t need that hassle.” – Jordan Klepper

“Yeah, everyone from Trump supporters to Democrats are asking to see the Epstein files, and everyone who isn’t is definitely in those files.” - Jimmy Fallon

On Trump's Middle East War
On June 19, the White House said Trump will make a decision on the U.S. involvement in Iran “within the next two weeks.” “It’s always two weeks. For a guy whose catchphrase was ‘You’re fired,’ no one has ever given more two weeks’ notice than Donald J. Trump.” - Jimmy Kimmel

Four days later, "the US launched strikes against three Iranian nuclear sites in a surprise attack. Well, ‘surprise’ to everyone who’s not on Pete Hegseth’s text chain.” – Seth Meyers

“Remember when we were scared he was going to invade Canada?” Jimmy Fallon said. “I miss that.”

“Yep, the strike came as a total surprise. Apparently, Trump had all the planes fly out of the abandoned Newark airport.” - Jimmy Fallon

Trump claimed Iran’s nuclear program was totally obliterated. As evidence, he held up a satellite photo showing Iran’s nuclear facility is now a Spirit Halloween.” - Jimmy Fallon

“Now, were we facing an imminent threat? On one hand, Iran’s slogan isn’t ‘Life to America,’ but it’s hard to trust Donald Trump to be the one making these kinds of decisions. It kind of feels like we’re all in the back seat while the Uber driver goes on a road rage.” – Stephen Colbert

On Iran's Navel Gazing
A senior adviser to Iran’s supreme leader issued an assassination threat against Trump, saying the President should be careful while sunbathing at Mar-a-Lago because a small drone might hit him in the navel.

Ronny Chieng called the threat “an attack on all of America, because now we all have to picture him with his bare belly glistening in the sun... Are they threatening to assassinate him or poke him like he’s the Pillsbury Doughboy?”

“Is this really a threat, though? What, you’re going to hit his navel with a small drone? Like, Iran went from building a nuclear bomb to ‘We’re going to turn his outie into an innie...’

“Also, Iran, are you the only people in the world that can’t tell Donald Trump uses spray tan?“ Trump responded that he has not been in the sun since he was a child, apparently triggering “an emotional breakthrough: ‘Yeah, last time I sunbathed was when I was 7, and my mom said she didn’t love me. And I forgive her. Oh, my God, I’m healed! Let the immigrants stay!'" - Ronny Chieng

On Trump's Irish Exit
President Trump abruptly left last month’s G7 summit in Canada a day early, flying back to Washington to deal with the Iran-Israel conflict, according to the White House.

Jordan Klepper called Trump out for his “Irish exit...We all know what this is, right? You’re at an event, you have to rush home because ‘something came up’? Look, I get it -- none of us like to poop in an unfamiliar place. Sometimes, when you have a big matchup coming up, you just need that home-field advantage.”

“Now, this is an important G7 for Trump, because he had to prove that he had the discipline and wherewithal to fix the global economy after he [expletive] up the global economy.” - Jordan Klepper

“After a few days with Trump, the Canadian prime minister was like, ‘I hate to see you go, but I also hate to see you here.’” - Jimmy Fallon

“When French President Emmanuel Macron told the press that Trump left the G7 to work on a cease-fire, Trump attacked Macron, posting, ‘He has no idea why I am now on my way to Washington, but it certainly has nothing to do with a cease-fire. Much bigger than that. Stay tuned!’ Much bigger than that? Not a cease-fire? Maybe not the most subtle messaging from the commander in chief. It’s like when F.D.R. said, ‘Gotta get me some sleep. Tomorrow is Big D-Day. Can’t say much more, but it rhymes with Shmormandy.” - Stephen Colbert

“‘Stay tuned.’ Like it’s the season finale of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ or something.” - Jimmy Kimmel

More War Than Peace
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel has nominated President Donald Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize.

“Yes, a Peace Prize nomination from Netanyahu is very meaningful -- right up there with a Husband of the Year nomination from O.J. Simpson.” - Ronny Chieng

“But Mr. Netanyahu, let me tell you something: If you think you can get Trump to keep sending military aid to Israel by sucking up to him, well, guess what? You can expect that money in your bank account by close of business.” - Ronny Chieng

On Juneteenth
Four years after it became a federal holiday honoring the end of slavery, President Trump still didn’t acknowledge Juneteenth, except to complain on Truth Social that there were too many “non-working holidays.”

While it might be “hard to believe, from a president who has claims to have ‘done more for Blacks than Abraham Lincoln,’ Trump is not a fan” of Juneteenth, said Jimmy Kimmel. “I don’t know, to me, it seems like a holiday that celebrates the end of slavery is one we should all be for.”

“If Trump were to acknowledge Juneteenth, he would risk upsetting his not-at-all-racist-and-how-dare-you-say-we-are base. They’re like, ‘We’re the ones who stopped enslaving -- they should have a holiday for us!’” – Jimmy Kimmel

“But then, a miracle happened. Trump did post about Juneteenth. He wrote, ‘Too many non-working holidays in America. Soon, we’ll end up having a holiday for every once working day of the year.’ Says the guy who just had a birthday parade for himself. Says the guy who has been in office for 150 days and has golfed 37 times that we know of.” – Jimmy Kimmel

On Trump's Sad Birthday
President Trump hosted an underwhelming military parade in Washington on June 14 -- either for the Army’s 250th anniversary or for his own birthday, depending on who you believed.

"Or, as i am calling it, 'Farty-gras,' -- which featured soldiers in uniform from every era of the Army's history, including one Navy guy from the Village People." - Jimmy Kimmel

Jimmy Kimmel called it Trump’s “much-anticipated Stupid Sweet 16 disguised as a tribute to the U.S. Army he bone-spurred his way out of...You know, after all his talk about how this wasn’t a birthday party for him, it kind of seemed like a birthday party for him.”

“The White House is now claiming that over 250,000 people attended the parade. Yeah, it was an estimate, give or take 250,000.” - Jimmy Fallon

“It was boring. It was basically a $50 million version of when a 5-year-old shows you every car in his Hot Wheels collection.” - Jimmy Kimmel

"We paid for most of it, but Trump brought in some corporate sponsors like Scott's Miracle Grow, which is what Trump uses on his head. There were fly-overs, comb-overs... and fireworks, during which he appeared to nod off, sitting next to Melania. In fairness, the closest 'sleepy-Don\' is going to get to sleeping with his wife." - Jimmy Kimmel

"Turnout was much lower than expected, or, as Trump would say, 'there were record-setting crowds.' The much, much larger crowds were the...more than five million people who showed up across the country" who participated in the "No Kings" protests.- Jimmy Kimmel

“You can be the president of the United States, you can have an entire political party and a global media apparatus at your disposal. You can cow the media and the wealthy into obedience. You can command an army and deploy troops and have unlimited wealth and power, but you still can’t force people to come to your [ecpletive] birthday party. And what is more American than that?” - Seth Meyers

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