Posted April 28, 2025 | by KimS | in 2025 Trump Administration, Biden Administration, DemDaily, Democratic Party, Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Humor Round Up

DemDaily: A Little Political Humor! Our Monthly Roundup

April 28, 2025

To remind us to laugh.

On Trump's Physical
The results of Trump’s annual physical exam described a man in “excellent health.”

"Dr. Barbabella said,"‘his active lifestyle continues to contribute significantly to his well-being’ including his ‘frequent victories in golf events,’ adding, his well-being is also due to a cruel, indifferent universe where good, hardworking people are routinely diagnosed with terminal illnesses, but an objectively evil monster who only eats cheeseburgers and fried chicken lives forever. The world is chaos, there is no god, proven by his frequent victories in golf events.” - Stephen Colbert

“Trump was very excited when he was handed a chart to pick what he’d like his weight to be.” - Jimmy Fallon

“Barbabella claims Trump is 6-feet-3, which he is not. He weighs 224 pounds. Just for comparison, Green Bay Packers quarterback Jordan Love is 6-4, 219 pounds. Honestly, it’s difficult to tell them apart.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“I’m going to say no to either of those numbers. I don’t want to be that guy, but he has a front butt.” - Jon Stewart

“Maybe they just weighed Trump’s head.” -hello

“The doctor said Trump’s BMI is 28. Right, and so is his next wife, by the way.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“Barbabella wrote: ‘I performed and supervised the comprehensive exam" and "consulted with 14 specialty consultants.’ ’Cause nothing says good health like your doctor saying, ‘I think you’re fine. I just need to consult with 14 specialty consultants.” – Stephen Colbert

On Tarriff-fying
Thank you for callingHours after instituting new global tariffs, Trump reversed course and announced a 90-day pause for some countries. “Yeah, Trump was, like, ‘I just saved the economy from me. You’re welcome,’” – Jimmy Fallon

“Trump announced a pause on tariffs for some countries and increased the duty on Chinese imports to 125%. Where did he learn his trade policies? -- from a kid in an elevator -- just pushing random buttons to see what happens?” – Seth Meyers

“Trump said that he paused tariffs because people were getting ‘yippy’ and ‘queasy.’ Then Trump tried naming the other seven dwarves.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, exactly, Russia was watching Trump tank the economy and going, ‘Yippy!’” - Stephen Colbert

“Yippy and queasy were also the seating sections at Trump’s wedding.” – Jimmy Fallon

Before the Pause ...
“As a result of the tariffs, Americans are now racing to buy iPhones before prices increase. Yep, iPhones and toilet paper, our two most essential bathroom items.” – Jimmy Fallon

"How is he coming up with these numbers, I don’t know. ‘What do you think about a tariff of 100% on China?’ ‘Not enough, make it 104.’ - Jimmy Kimmel

The stock market had its worst day in five years following the first day of trading on Wall Street after Trump announced his new tariffs. “So, worst day for our economy since Covid,” Stephen Colbert said. “Just a little reminder: This time, he’s the disease.”

“Has anyone — and I’m just spitballin’ here — has anyone thought about injecting our money with bleach?” - Stephen Colbert

“Yep, Trump’s tariffs went all the way from 54% to 10%, and today, so did his approval rating.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday, Donald Trump announced sweeping tariffs across the entire globe: Asia, South America, Narnia, Arendelle, Wakanda, Bachelor Nation.” – Michael Kosta

“Who’s ready to learn how to make their own iPad from scratch?” - Stephen Colbert

“He also expanded the tariffs on aluminum to include canned beer. Even Kid Rock was, like, ‘Um, what are we doing here, man?’” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Trump likened the US to a sick patient and his trade policies to an operation in a Truth Social post and said, ‘THE OPERATION IS OVER! THE PATIENT LIVED AND IS HEALING.’ Sounds great, until you remember that the surgeon didn’t go to medical school.” – Seth Meyers

“Yep, Trump thinks that he’s a medicine expert because he’s the same color as DayQuil.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Trump announced yet more tariffs at the White House Rose Garden, calling it ‘Liberation Day.’ Like everything, he’s got to make it a spectacle. Because when you elect a reality TV star, you get all your economic policy via rose ceremony.” – Stephen Colbert

“‘Liberation Day.’ Ah, yes, the day we’ll all finally be liberated from our 401(k)s.” – Seth Meyers

“Yes, ‘Liberation Day.’ I’m reminded of the immortal words of Patrick Henry: ‘Give me liberty or charge me an extra $10,000 for a Hyundai Elantra.’” – Stephen Colbert

"Trump’s calling it ‘Liberation Day,’ while every stockbroker is calling it ‘Inebriation Day.’” – Jimmy Fallon

"Now, you might be thinking, ‘What am I even being liberated from? The ability to afford goods and services?’” – Michael Kosta

“You’re all acting like the tariff regime is a tried-and-true remedy: ‘Oh, of course, this is the medicine that’s always prescribed!’ Except the last time it was tried, 100 years ago, we had a Great Depression.” - Jon Stewart

“And tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1929.” - Jimmy Kimmel

On Trump's Winning Golf Game
“After the White House reported that President Trump won the senior club championship at his Florida golf club, The Washington Post reported he tied for first with another player. But in the end, the Supreme Court gave it to Trump.” – Seth Meyers

“It’s good to see him relaxing. Killing the economy can be stressful.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“Of course he won. Anyone who beats him gets deported to El Salvador.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“[imitating Trump] What’s my handicap? I’d say a complete inability to empathize with my fellow human beings. That’s a big one.” – Seth Meyers

On SIGNAL-Gate
...the Signal chat group in which US national-security leaders discussed an imminent strike on Yemen, unaware that one of them had mistakenly added the editor of The Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg, to the group. Records of the text chain have been subsequently publicized.

Jimmy Kimmel called it the “‘Oops, who did I add to this text chain?’ heard ’round the world.” The administration has denied that details shared in the chat amounted to “war plans...Let’s see. ‘F-18’s launch.’ ‘Target terrorist.’ ‘Strike drones launch.’ ‘More F-18s launch!’ ‘First bombs will definitely drop.’ ‘First sea-based Tomahawks launched.’ Now, I’m not an expert on war -- these don’t seem like peace plans to me.”

“OK, look, just because you write in all caps, ‘THIS IS WHEN THE FIRST BOMBS WILL DEFINITELY DROP’ doesn’t mean they’re war plans. OK? This is Pete Hegseth. Maybe he was talking about Jägerbombs.” – Ronny Chieng

“(Defense Secretary) Pete Hegseth and (National Security Advisor) Mike Waltz have said and done so many stupid things, Trump might have to start calling them Eric and Don Jr.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“Of course, everyone’s still talking to me about the White House’s group chat scandal, but I saw that Trump said it’s ‘really not a big deal.’ That’s a relief. I mean, he said the same thing about COVID, and no problems there.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Who could have ever guessed that the host of ‘Weekend Fox and Friends’ would be bad at running the military?” - Jimmy Kimmel

“I mean, imagine how lifelong military professionals must feel. If this was the ’90s, this would be like suddenly having to take orders from Kathie Lee.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“Thank God we got rid of D.E.I. Now you can rest assured that the idiots in charge were not chosen for their race or gender. They were chosen purely based on being idiots.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“Yep, Trump called the massive leak of classified information a ‘glitch,’ which feels sort of like Boeing referring to a door flying off as ‘a little oopsie.’” – Jimmy Fallon

“Apparently, the reporter was mistakenly added to the group chat by Trump’s national security adviser. Waltz can’t catch a break. Today, he sat down and butt-dialed the nuclear codes to North Korea.” – Jimmy Fallon

“And even if they didn’t accidentally add a journalist into this group chat, they weren’t supposed to be talking about this stuff on Signal in the first place, OK? Signal might be a good app for you and me and our local drug dealer, but it’s not for the Pentagon to plan wars on.” – Ronny Chieng

“Today Trump said it’ll never happen again, and from now on they’ll only talk about war plans over Snapchat.” – Jimmy Fallon

“I know we shouldn’t enjoy the fact that we have a confederacy of dunces running this country, but I’ll be honest, I can’t help it — I’m enjoying it right now. This week, in the race between dumb and evil, dumb’s in the lead.” - Jimmy Kimmel

“Meanwhile, today Trump held an emergency meeting to decide what scandal he’s going to introduce to make this scandal go away.” – Jimmy Fallon