DemDaily: A Little Political Humor! Our Monthly Roundup
January 24, 2025
To remind us to laugh.
On the Hat and World Dominance
Melania Trump’s hat briefly stole the show at her husband’s inauguration, with its wide, face-shielding brim that seemed to prevent him from kissing her.
Jimmy Fallon greeted “Tonight Show” viewers in his own version of the hat, saying, “After this, we’re going to play Who Wore It Better: Me, Melania, or the Hamburglar.”
“People weren’t sure if she was there for the inauguration or to kill Indiana Jones.” – Jimmy Fallon
“That’s not just a hat; it’s Melania’s very own border wall.” – Jimmy Fallon
“
Meanwhile, many dignitaries went not only hatless but hairless, with a plethora of stocky, bald billionaires who all seemed to go to the same hair extension clinic and say, ‘Give me the Lex Luthor.’” – Jon Stewart
“Yes, taking the place of seats normally reserved for Democratic or Republican governors sat Zuck, Bezos, Tim Cook, Elon, TikTok guy, Google guy — the six guys who control maybe 20 percent of the world’s wealth and 100 percent of your nudes.” – Jon Stewart
“Even Mike Pence showed up, I guess to let the crowd finish the job.” – Jon Stewart
“The award for best dressed at today’s inauguration -- went to Senator John Fetterman who (in shorts) looked like his mom interrupted his Fortnite game and forced him to come downstairs.” said Jimmy Kimmel. “You know, John, even Adam Sandler wears a suit to the Golden Globes.”
“The most surprising cold-weather inauguration look since 2020, when Bernie Sanders wore those mittens and nothing else.” - Stephen Colbert
”Fetterman is literally America’s teenage son.” – Jon Stewart
On the Wildfires Disaster
President Donald Trump is traveling to Los Angeles on Friday to survey damage caused by the wildfires. L.A.-based Jimmy Kimmel joked that Trump would make the trip “to blame us for the fires in person.”
“It’s the first time in history that a natural disaster will be visited by an even bigger natural disaster.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“I guess to survey the damage, and meet with the governor — mostly to get away from Elon for a couple of days.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“He is so, so ridiculous, and we have to sit around with the place on fire, hoping he gives us our own money back. Trump and his minions are planning to leverage any federal aid they might give to force us to help him round up and deport our neighbors as if we’re Eric and he’s cutting off our allowance to teach us some kind of a lesson.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“Which, on one hand, you might think, ‘Oh, wow, what a truly — only a despicable human being would use disaster relief money as a bargaining chip,’ but on the other hand — there is no other hand. It’s just that hand.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“As wildfires still wreak havoc in Southern California, President Biden used a briefing on the fires to brag that he is now a great grandfather. Biden said that his granddaughter gave birth to a ‘10-pound 4-ounce baby girl’ before correcting himself to say ‘baby boy.’ And already Republicans are accusing him of performing gender reassignment on minors.” - Seth Meyers
On Trump's Executive Orders
President Trump signed a flurry of executive orders within hours of being sworn in on January 20.
“I mean, if you could put anything in front of him yesterday, he would have signed it. Melania, now’s your chance to update the prenup. Go, go, go, go!” - Ronny Chieng
“He froze the federal hiring bill…something about genders…and he said Cuba is a state-sponsored terrorist now? He renamed a mountain…dishwashers are less efficient? What, he can do that?” - Ronny Chieng
“OK, sure, he pulled out of the World Health Organization (WHO)., but, like, who are those guys? What are the odds there’s ever going to be a pandemic requiring global cooperation?” - Ronny Chieng
“Does it really matter? One year, we’re in; the next year, we’re out. We've been doing the hokey pokey with these guys for like 12 years. They don’t even put us in the group chat anymore, OK?” - Ronny Chieng on Trump withdrawing the United States from the Paris climate accord
“And he rescinded Joe Biden’s executive order lowering prescription drug prices for Americans on Medicare and Medicaid. Finally, someone’s looking out for Big Pharma.” - Jimmy Kimmel
After Trump was done signing the orders, he threw the Sharpies into the crowd. “Wow, whoever caught that pen is so lucky. That is going to be such a cool thing for those guys to show their kids once they get their visitation rights back.” - Ronny Chieng
“I read that President Trump’s last-minute decision to pardon nearly every January 6 rioter took a lot of his allies by surprise. They were like, ‘This isn’t the thoughtful, measured Trump we remember from the first term.’” – Jimmy Fallon
“According to one adviser, Trump just said, ‘Eff it, release them all.’ Yeah, at this point, the only prisoner Trump hasn’t released is Melania.” – Jimmy Fallon
“One of Trump’s first moves as president was to pardon nearly all of the 1,600 January 6 defendants. Yep, the January 6 rioters are free. They were so excited to be reunited with their friends and family who turned them in.” – Jimmy Fallon
On Pete Hegseth's Happy Hour
On January 14, the Senate held a confirmation hearing for President-elect Donald Trump’s choice for defense secretary: the former “Fox & Friends” host Pete Hegseth, or as Jordan Klepper called him the “dude who makes sure everyone at the frat house has their stories straight.”
“Now, you might remember Hegseth from his rather thin dossier of qualifications to run the most powerful military and single-largest workforce in the world. There’s his stint as co-host of ‘Fox & Friends Weekends’ and the allegations of excessive drinking after work and at work, otherwise known as ‘always.’” - Stephen Colbert
“Hegseth was hammered by Democrats on the Senate Armed Services Committee, who argued that he should be disqualified based on accounts of excessive drinking and allegations of sexual misconduct, which are two of the qualities Trump looks for in a nominee.” - Jimmy Kimmel
“The hearing started at 9:30 this morning, or, as Pete calls it, happy hour.” - Jimmy Kimmel
On Biden's Farewell
President Biden gave his farewell address this week, warning Americans of an oligarchy taking shape that “threatens our entire democracy, our basic rights and freedoms."
Seth Meyers joked that Biden had waited until his “last day at work to start stuffing the suggestion box...Now you warn us that America’s becoming an oligarchy?”
“It was more like a stern talking-to than a speech. Biden warned us about threats to democracy, including the decline of American journalism and the dangerous seeds of oligarchy, where too much power and influence is in the hands of a wealthy few. Basically, his message was, ‘I’m getting the hell out of here; you probably should, too.’” - Jimmy Kimmel
“I mean, I agree, but why are you giving us a to-do list on your way out?” - Seth Meyers
“Yes, Biden used his last speech as president to warn us about a new American oligarchy. And you can tell the message hit home because of how many people -- and this is true -- how many people immediately went to Google to search ‘What is oligarchy?’ And weirdly, Google responded: ‘Don’t worry about it.’” – Jordan Klepper
“Turns out, you don’t need to Google ‘oligarchy’ to understand what it looks like -- just tune in to the inauguration.” – Jordan Klepper
On The President's Club
President Jimmy Carter’s state funeral was held on January 7 with President Biden, President-elect Trump and former presidents Barack Obama, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush -- in attendance.
“All five members of the so-called ‘Presidents Club’ gathered in Washington, DC, for President Jimmy Carter’s state funeral. And it just goes to show you that, as a country, we really don’t have a type.” - Seth Meyers
Desi Lydic noted how rare such a gathering was, adding that it was “even rarer to have Donald and Melania in the same room together. Kudos to President Carter!”
“The ceremony was a beautiful remembrance of a great American. It was also a rare gathering of everyone in the Marvel presidential universe.” - Stephen Colbert
“A lot of people were surprised that Melania showed up because they thought Trump’s plus-one would be Elon Musk.” – Jimmy Fallon
“I don’t know how you measure the life of a man, whether through their personal accomplishments or the lives they touched, but if you measure a life by the V.I.P. guest list at your funeral, then Jimmy Carter was a [expletive] pimp!” – Desi Lydic
Have a great weekend!
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