Posted September 13, 2024 | by KimS | in 2024 Presidential Election, Debates, DemDaily, Democratic Party, Donald Trump, HarrisForPresident, Humor Round Up

DemDaily: A Little Political Humor! Our Monthly Roundup

September 13, 2024

To remind us to laugh.

On The Debate
Despite public sentiment suggesting otherwise, Donald Trump said he won the Tuesday, September 10 debate against Kamala Harris, while also asserting it was rigged against him.

On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel said that more than 67 million Americans watched the debate on television -- “and of that 67 million, the only one who seems to think Trump did a good job is Donald Trump.”

“I had a liberal elite day today. I woke up, I ate a big cat for breakfast, then I had a baby, then I had an abortion right after that, and then I went to pick up my kids from their mandatory transgender surgery operations after school. And now, I’m back here spreading Marxist propaganda on TV. That’s how we do it.” – Jimmy Kimmel

Harris “came out swinging,” looking to “rattle Trump’s cage. And now that it is over, they are still looking for pieces of his cage in low orbit.” – Stephen Colbert

“Harris got under his skin like she was stuffing in butter and rosemary. It was beautiful. By the end of the debate, the meat was falling off the bone.” – Stephen Colbert

“Usually when Donald Trump gets a spanking like this from a woman, it’s with a Forbes magazine. Kamala was pushing his buttons like a 12-year-old playing Fortnite.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“He was so nonsensical that she looked at him the way a parent looks at a kid giving a presentation on why they should be allowed to get a pet tiger.” – Stephen Colbert

“The next day, Trump said the debate was rigged and that ABC should be shut down for fact-checking him, but that he still thought he did great. Then ABC fact-checked him again and said, ‘You did not.’”- Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, everyone thought Harris seemed really prepared while Trump was like, ‘My homework was eaten by a dog that was eaten by people in Ohio.’” - Jimmy Fallon

“I had to believe that during the debate prep, the one thing Donald Trump’s handlers begged him not to mention was this thing about Haitians eating pets: ‘[imitating handler] Please, Mr. President, stick to the economy and the border, anything other than Ohio Haitians eating pets.’ So what does he do?” – Jimmy Kimmel

“This pet-eating brain worm got into Trump’s skull through JD Vance, who’s been spreading a racist rumor that Haitian immigrants are abducting people’s pets and eating them in Ohio. This is a good time to remind you: please remember to spay or neuter your JD Vance. We don’t want more of that.” – Stephen Colbert

“A quick reminder to all of the pet owners out there: Always remember to leash your dogs. It’s an important way to keep your dogs from fighting other dogs or being hit by a car or being eaten by your immigrant neighbors.” – Jon Stewart

“It looks like Operation ‘I’m Not Weird’ isn’t going well.” - Jimmy Fallon

Noting that “Kamala Harris shook Donald Trump’s hand then handed him his ass,” Stephen Colbert said, “it was fun to watch. It was fun to watch, a very public curb stomping” -- pointing to the event’s huge ratings.

“The debate was watched by 67.1 million people, making it the most watched TV show in the US since the Super Bowl. That makes sense, because the winner of the Super Bowl and the debate were both endorsed by Taylor Swift.” – Stephen Colbert

“A CNN poll taken immediately after the debate, 63% said Harris won and 37% said [Trump won]. Which of course means that 37% of Americans don’t own TVs.” – Stephen Colbert

On Taylor Swift's Endorsement of Harris Debate Night
“Last night, Kamala Harris and Donald Trump took to the debate stage to make their cases to Taylor Alison Swift and whoever else happened to be watching.” - Jordan Klepper

In an interview with Fox News the morning after the debate, Trump running mate JD Vance criticized Swift for endorsing Harris, insisting, “I don’t think most Americans… are going to be influenced by a billionaire celebrity who I think is fundamentally disconnected from the interests and the problems of most Americans.”

“God knows, the last thing Americans need is a billionaire celebrity fundamentally disconnected from the interests and problems of most Americans.” – Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, could you imagine people relating to a celebrity billionaire? Someone who’s been on Time magazine, or hosted ‘S.N.L.,’ or been in a Kanye West music video? I can’t imagine anybody being impressed with that! ‘I’m JD Vance and I have no sense of irony.’” – Jordan Klepper

“Both Trump and Vance say they don’t care about Taylor Swift’s Harris endorsement — and the surest way to know someone doesn’t care is when they keep telling you how much they don’t care.” – Stephen Colbert

“Trump was like, ‘See? She’s eating her cat.’” - Jimmy Fallon