DemDaily: The Week in Jokes

April 8, 2016
The 2016 Presidential personalities and politics have provided a wealth of material for the late night talk shows hosts.  While we can still laugh, a sampling ... have a good weekend!

The Week in Jokes

"Ted Cruz said that a 'white knight' is not going to parachute into the Republican convention and walk away with the nomination. To which the GOP responded, 'You had us at 'white.'" -Conan O'Brien
"While campaigning in Wisconsin, Ted Cruz refused to wear the traditional Wisconsin 'Cheesehead.' Ted Cruz said the Cheesehead would compromise the dignity that he one day hopes to have." -Conan O'Brien
Marco Rubio pulled out of the race after losing the Florida primary to Trump by almost 20 points. But he still has a great story. I mean nothing symbolizes America more than the son of poor immigrants growing up to run for president and being crushed by a billionaire." -Jimmy Fallon
"If it comes down to Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, if the vote was today, Trump would be in trouble. Clinton leads Trump in a hypothetical matchup 54 percent to 36 percent. While 68 percent of likely general election voters view Donald Trump negatively and the other 32 percent don't have Twitter or television." -Jimmy Kimmel

"House Speaker Paul Ryan today continued to shoot down rumors that he could be a surprise candidate at the Republican convention and said that he's not the fresh face his party needs. I guess he hasn't gotten a look at the other faces in contention." -Seth Meyers

"Sarah Palin just signed a deal to act as a judge on a new reality court TV show. Sarah said she just wants to get a little legal experience before Trump nominates her to the Supreme Court." -Jimmy Fallon

"Donald Trump is polling so badly with women that at a rally last night, he had his wife, Melania, introduce him. Because if there's one thing that's guaranteed to get American women on your side, it's a foreign model who's married to a billionaire and never has to work." -Conan O'Brien
"Donald Trump won the Republican primaries in Florida, Illinois and North Carolina. Trump did especially well with white males, Caucasian men, and non-women of no color." -Seth Meyers
"Chris Christie was the focus of a shaming campaign after a fan at a basketball game photographed him seemingly pouring a bag of M&Ms into a box of M&Ms. I guarantee you Chris Christie did not know the score of that basketball game." -James Corden
"Donald Trump said in a recent interview that the press conference held to announce his candidacy for president looked like the Academy Awards. No black people." -Seth Meyers

"Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them 'anxious.' And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them 'Canadian.'" -Conan O'Brien

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